Archive for August, 2008
Being Dr. Murk is all about careful observation. I am a married man, and as such, I am in slavery. Many of my friends and relatives are married. Nothing hurts me more than a young friend who doesn’t understand the concept of marriage.
Marriage is a series of choices. The first choice is to get married. [...]
Here’s more proof from the nature doesn’t make sense file. Consider, for a moment, the worst pain you’ve ever felt. That’s it. Get good and into it. Rate it on a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest. Don’t be an ass and rate it an 11 or higher. That’s stupid.
Okay. Now, picture [...]
The other day I was on ride-a-long with the cops, and the arresting officer asked me if a I was a reader. I told him yes, indeed I was. He asked my what I read. I told him, fiction mostly. Then he asked me a disturbing question. Not disturbing from his perspective, but from mine. [...]
My latest seminar will be called “Whatsamatta You: Teaching the Other People How to Speak English.” This seminar will focus on safe and effective ways to force immigrants to speak English, act American, and join the Armed Forces to earn citizenship.
We’ll be covering the use of sticks, knives, guns, hand grenades, waterboarding, improvised weaponry and [...]
Once again, from our letters department, we have sorrow:
Dear Dr. Murk,
I’m having trouble communicating with my partner. She give me a lot of grief for cleaning and stuff. I just want her to understand that I’m trying my best, but I keep putting my foot in my mouth. How can I talk to her without [...]
I was talking to Captain Careless, aka SATAN, the other day. Whilst I often have glowing praise for the Lord of the Underworld and his magical land of suffering called EARTH, lately, he’s been kind of a pussy. Not so much the loathesome, fish smelling gash of feminine genitalia, but just a freaking wimpy fag [...]
